i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
