So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
