I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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