i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
