do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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