I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
