You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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