I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
