He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
