New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
