A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
