RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
