She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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