Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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