so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
