I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
