So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
