please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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