My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
