i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
