She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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