He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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