He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
