I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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