What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're a waste of cheezeits
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
