I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
