Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
