Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
