you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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