so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
