I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
