doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
