He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
