So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
