her vagine was all disorganized.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
