i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Come on in and take your pants off
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