i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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