i need an iv and a liver transplant
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
