Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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