I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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