Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
3pm strippers are depressing
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
