I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
