Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
