I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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