On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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