your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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