I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
