I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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