Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
