I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
