Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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